


Femininity

by awkwardauthoracts



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Ice Skating, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Figure Skater Yuuri, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Ice Skating, Katsuki Yuuri Is a Victor Nikiforov Fan, Long-Haired Victor Nikiforov, M/M, Romance, Translator Viktor, Victor Nikiforov Needs a Hug, Victor Nikiforov isn't a Figure Skater, Victor Nikiforov-centric, Young Victor Nikiforov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 06:02:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17843813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardauthoracts/pseuds/awkwardauthoracts
Summary: His long locks piled at his feet on the floor as he cut off all his grey hair in four snips. It was uneven and messy and ugly, but it was short, and that's what he wanted.No.That's what he needed.Viktor loved his hair and now it was gone.~Yuri!!! on Ice takes place in a universe where gender roles and stereotypes don't exist. But what if it did?~Aka the one where Viktor is never allowed to embrace his feminine side and never peruses ice skating.





	Femininity

"Are you sure you've got everything, Vitya?"

"Da, Mama."

"You're positive?"

"Mama, it's almost eight o'clock. I'm going to be late."

Anastasia Nikiforov nodded confidently, contradicting the worried look on her face.

"You'll be fine, syn. After all, you're famous now!"

"Papa! I'm not really. You know that."

"The gold medals hanging in your room say otherwise,  _Viktor._  There's a reason we named you that."

Young Viktor beamed proudly at his father.

"I have to go now," he said, adjusting his backpack and running towards the school. He called out to them, "Ya lyublyu tebya! I love you!"

Both his parents waved as they watched their only son walk into school with his head held high.

"Oh, Aleksandr," Anastasia leaned her head on her husband's shoulder. "What are we going to do with him?"

"What do you mean?"

"They're going to eat him alive."

Aleksandr laughed airily. "He'll be fine. He's fourteen now."

"Barely! His birthday was less than a month ago."

"You can't protect him forever, milaya. Besides, he's stronger than you give him credit for."

~

"Look at his hair! It's so long..."

"Why is it old and grey?"

"What is he wearing? It's so fancy and...  _girly._ "

"Look at his hands! His nails are blue!"

"Where has he been?"

"I heard he skipped school for something."

"Isn't he an athlete? What happened?"

"Four-eyes!"

"Why is he limping? Is he okay?"

"Where have you been?"

"What's up with your hair?"

"Guys shouldn't paint their nails."

Viktor tuned them out. He would tell a select few people where he had been and word would travel fast. By the end of the day, the entire student body would he was a gold medalist at the ISU Junior Grand Prix Final.

When everyone was released for lunch, people avoided Viktor like he had the plague. He sat at one of the few tables that were still vacant. He was alone for maybe half the lunch hour before someone dropped their stuff down and fell forward across, draping their body over the table.

"I am an  _awful_ human being."

"Huh?" It took Viktor a moment to recognize just who this was.

"I haven't talked to you all day! I haven't seen you since you left!"

"To be fair, I didn't tell you I was back today."

"Yeah... Yeah! You didn't! What's up with that, Mr. Gold Medalist?"

"Varina..." Viktor rubbed the back of his neck and blushed deeply, something he hoped he would outgrow (he would). "It's not that big of a deal. I've got other things to worry about than parading around the school with a hunk of metal on my chest."

Normally, Viktor was a bit more boastful with his accomplishments, but now he seemed very timid to admit that he was one of the best skaters in the world. He had been close friends with Varina for a little over two years when he moved here, so she knew him well enough to pick up on his odd behavior.

"Are you okay?" Her playful energy from before was replaced with genuine concern.

At this point, Viktor could have confided in his friend. He could have told her about the weights his parents unintentionally put on his shoulders. He could have told her about the teasing from the other kids for looking differently. He could have told her that he missed her and that he was scared of what was going to happen next, and how he was worrying that he had peaked and was now going to crash and burn. Viktor could have told her about how his parents had told him on the way back from The Hague that he should get a girlfriend because the press would eat it up. He could have told her that his parents thought they would look good together. He could have told her that he thought about kissing her once and almost gagged because she was too much like a sister to him. He could have told her that sometimes it seemed like his parents cared more about the press and the reporters and the ISU and the newspapers than their son. He could have told Varina that despite being semi-famous and having her as a wonderful best and only friend, he was so goddamn lonely that it almost physically hurt him. He could have told her how his heart ached over what he didn't have. He could have told her how selfish he was.

But he didn't.

Instead, Viktor smiled and told Varina this:

"I've never been better."

The pair were close friends, but apparently not close enough.

Viktor smiles the smile that was the one he would flash to the press after getting interviewed about his routines and what he was doing next. It was a little bit real, but nearly entirely forced.

And Varina didn't see through it.

"Alright! Just checking! Sometimes I worry about you, Viktor."

 _Sometimes I worry about me too,_  Viktor thought. He gave her a small laugh and asked about her day.

~

"Why's he always with Varina?"

"Are they together?"

"No, I've never seen them hold hands or kiss."

"I saw them hug once!"

"That doesn't mean shit, fuckface."

"I saw my older sister watching him on TV! He's a figure skater, I think."

"Is he good?"

"A guy skater? That's kinda weird isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is."

"I thought only girls skated."

"It looks like he has bug eyes with those coke bottle glasses!"

"He looks like a dumbass."

"What's with his shirt? It's super fancy."

"Weirdo."

"Why are his nails so long?"

"They're blue! Like mine!"

"Yeah, but you're a girl. He's a guy."

"I can't get over that mop on his head."

"Get a haircut!"

"It's longer than his waist! That's insane!"

"His hair is awful. It's messy."

"And grey."

"Why's it grey?"

"Is that hair on guys allowed?"

"I don't think so."

"He's gotta cut it."

"Get a trim, man."

"Someone snip his ponytail!"

"Shave your head."

"Cut your hair, freak."

Viktor found that he wouldn't care if someone were to cut his hair or snip his ponytail or even shave his head

And Viktor loved his hair.

But no one else did.

~

Viktor opened the front door to his house and slipped in quietly. His father was at work and his mother was at the store, so he wasn't sure why he felt the need to be silent. Maybe it was because he wasn't in the right head space.

Normally, Viktor rarely let peoples' words get to him. It was unlike him to react to what they said, but lots of things had been odd for Viktor today. Maybe that's why he wiped his eyes and grabbed an old pair of craft scissors from a random drawer in the kitchen. Maybe that's why he ran to his room and stared at himself in his full-length mirror. Maybe that's why he didn't hesitate before grabbing his girl's hair and pressing the blades of the scissors to it.

But maybe that wasn't why he hesitated before cutting.

He dropped the scissors.

_He couldn't do it._

Viktor's face scrunched up and he became angry. Angry with himself. He was too weak to finish the job.

He pulled on the collar of his shirt.

It was too tight, despite the top two buttons being open.

He took it off and put on an old t-shirt of his father's. It was some old rock band Viktor had never heard of.

Viktor grabbed his oldest file and began scraping off the paint on his nails he had worked hours on. He was destroying the tops of his nails and his cuticles, and he knew it too. Five minutes later, his fingers were dull and ugly. Blue paint chips created a small pile at his feet.

Viktor looked in the mirror once again to see what else was wrong and scoffed. His glasses were ridiculous.

He took them off and threw them out along with the idea that he might get his ears pierced next week.

Viktor ran his messy hands through his hair.

"Cut your hair, freak," he mumbled to his reflection.

He picked up the scissors and-

_Snip._

Viktor held his own grey strands in his palm before dropping them on the floor to scatter everywhere. He blinked at his uneven hair. Years of growth and time and dedication, gone.

Viktor cut the other side. He cut the back. He cut once more.

In four nasty snips, Viktor's hair was short and uneven. It was ugly and misshapen.

It was  _disgusting_.

But it was what he needed- no. It's what he  _wanted_.

Viktor looked down at the hundreds of silver hairs surrounding him and fell to his knees.

He loved his clothes. He loved his nails and his glasses. He lovedhis  _hair_.

And now it was gone.

Viktor wanted to cry, but he refused. Tears welled up in his eyes but he blinked them back.

Instead, he went into his parents' bathroom and turned on his dad's razor. He had seen lots of boys with undercuts at school and decided he needed one too. He buzzed off the back, the left, and the right. He trimmed the edges of what hair he had left and gave himself long bangs to cover most of his face.

Viktor took a step back to see the damage he had done.

He blinked once.

He blinked twice.

He went back to his room and threw away his Courchevel and Skate Slovakia medals. He held his JGPF gold and looked over at his skates. He couldn't toss those out. Not yet.

He tucked the singular gold medal and the ice skates away in a box and pushed them to the back of his closet, never to be seen again.

~

An hour later, Viktor's parents came home and they didn't even recognize him.

A day later, Viktor gave Varina the cold shoulder and never talked to her again.

A week later, Viktor announced his early retirement from figure skating and he was all anyone in the skating community was taking about.

A month later, Viktor gained newfound popularity at school and lost his virginity to some girl he barely knew before even getting to high school.

A year later, no one who skated could tell you who Viktor Nikiforov was and one skater in Japan cried because it was finally sinking in that his idol was never returning to the ice.

And a little more than a decade later, Viktor went to his first figure skating competition since he was just a young boy and watched people skate, completely memorized.


End file.
